Whether in an office meeting, negotiating a transaction or having a conversation with the significant other, the following information on communication is intended to enhance the outcome of that conversation. There is no right way or wrong way with the following tips. These tips are to make us more aware of the other gender's innate responses during the flow of communication.
- Men tend to interrupt women more than they interrupt men or than women interrupt either women or men. If during the female's presentation a man interrupts you, women shouldn't take it personally. Men are predisposed to doing so. The woman should just take action to regain the floor.
- Women tend to go into more detail, the supporting evidence. If too much detail, the male tends to lose focus or tune out the conversation. Men tend to want "just the facts, ma'am".
- A woman may be talking about a "problem" to build rapport, a Man sees a "problem" as something to fix. The woman may feel he isn't listening; she just wants the male to listen to her. Men should add comments during the discussion so she knows you are listening. Words like: "Oh, Really, I understand, No way, Hoo-hah.
- Women seek intimacy and rapport through verbal conversations. At work they tend to "Ask opinions" and look for consensus. This can be interpreted by men as being "indecisive, uncertain," and this diminishes the females perceived authority by the male.
- Men have a conversational style called "banter" and opposition when talking with other men. Women are inhibited by this style. It's like teasing to them. They tend to clam up and not say much. Men sometimes have an attitude of "I'm taking the opposite position just to banter with you". It is generally "not effective" with women.
- Women tend to downplay their authority. While this works well with other women they make themselves "vulnerable to men challenging them and taking some of their authority away." Women need to assess in what situation they need to assert their authority.
Men are more task oriented: What is everyone going to do?
Women are more maintenance/relationship oriented: "Does everyone feel good about the meeting?"
- Men perceive that asking questions diminishes their intelligence. They sometimes act without all the information. So, a woman asking questions may be judged by a male as not being as intelligent as she is.
A Man feels more comfortable taking the floor and stating his ideas. Women need to jump into the discussion early on and make several statements to increase their presence and visibility.
Men use loudness to emphasize points. Women tend to use a softer voice. This can be misinterpreted as their being intimidated or unsure of what their opinion is.
Men disclose less personal information about themselves. Women haven't gotten to know you unless they have disclosed some personal information.
Women more than men use indirect communication. "Why didn't you call me about the problem?" It sounds like indirect accusations.
Men on the other hand say directly, "You didn't call". They say they don't "beat around the bush" like females do.
Men who use conversational styles of women are considered not behaving according to cultural expectations. "Women call it being in touch with their feminine side: warm, charming, and sensitive.
And women using conversational rituals of men are perceived as "aggressive or bossy".
To Review and Sum Up:
Female: "Let me see if I've got it".
Male: "To summarize for you, #1.#11"